Lockdown, Friday, Aug 27th

Reports are coming in

It’s black-quiet, the sea is rumbling a distant noise from the Western Front, a couple of lapwings let loose staccato quacks a while ago, Orion is cartwheeling over the forest, the kitchen clock is ticking. On the hour, ‘Reports are coming in of two explosions . . . images on social media show bodies piled up . . . sixty dead and twelve Marines’.

Yesterday I wrote about photographing trees rather than the chaos at Kabul airport, now thoughts dive to the amount of stress hormones that have suddenly entered the world. A ridiculous conceit, but our thoughts are not all our fault. In that extremely stressful situation, thousands of glands working at fever pitch are pumping out chemicals through terrified survivors and witnesses. And these hormones are escaping across the world, pooling in countries among the families of marines or relatives of Afghans.

I entered and left Afghanistan overland, never saw the airport, and have never been in a war zone. I have to abstract all this. There is no way in for my imagination to locate that deafening confusion, the ripped carnage, scattered parts, choking dust, the disgusting spillage, the screams of chaotic terror and all the associated words that have demanded positions in our lexicon for too long. ‘I can’t feel my legs’, I’ve heard people say in the movies. Language must be coughing crimson. I should just write vowels that scream pain and whimper in sorrow – or not write at all.

Instead, I am curious:
Primary blast injuries are caused by barotrauma from the initial increased pressure of the explosive detonation and the rarefaction of the atmosphere immediately afterward. Secondary blast injuries are caused by debris carried by the blast wind and most often result in penetrating trauma from small shrapnel. Tertiary blast injuries are caused by the physical displacement of the victim and the wide variety of blunt or penetrating trauma sustained as a result of the patient impacting immovable objects such as surrounding cars, walls, or fences. Quaternary blast injuries include all other injuries, such as burns, crush injuries, and inhalational injuries.[i]

Fight-or-flight

When we’re acutely stressed, the fight-or-flight system jumps into action, surging adrenaline through the body. Heart rate jumps, blood pressure spikes and blood flow is sent to the muscles dramatically speeding our reaction time, to allow us to escape or fight a predator or terrorist. But speed is relative, the blast from an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) can travel at 2,000 km/h.

Adrenaline pumped from the adrenal glands is largely responsible for the immediate reaction. Norepinephrine is a back-up hormone, released from both the brain and adrenal glands. A third stress hormone, cortisol, is released minutes later. This steroid increases glucose in the bloodstream, enhancing the brain’s energy and increasing chemicals that repair tissue damage. When the amygdala recognises a threat it contacts the hypothalamus, which releases corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH), which in turn contacts the pituitary gland to release adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), which in turn contacts the adrenal glands to churn out cortisol.

These acts often have lasting consequences for survivors and witnesses. Our bodies are not designed to cope with the ongoing activation of these stress pathways. Effects such as irritability, loss of appetite and difficulty in sleeping are obvious, but there is more. Neurons in the hippocampus, the brain’s learning and memory centre deep in the base of the brain, may disconnect or start eating themselves. A shrinking hippocampus interferes with memory and learning. The two amygdala nestled against the hippocampus can grow. They coordinate emotional responses to the environment, especially fear and anger. Their stimulation increases connectivity with other neurons, leading to hypervigilance and extreme emotions.

This occurs in Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a group of stress reactions now well known. People with PTSD are at a higher risk of developing other anxiety disorders, substance abuse issues and mood disorders such as depression. Stress has subtle effects on almost every part of the body, including the heart, guts and immune system. It promotes high blood pressure which strains the coronary arteries. In these conditions, each heart beat causes arteries to slowly stiffen and clog, impeding blood flow and triggering heart attacks.

 Locked down

I resist the temptation to put on the news, the numbers will go up. Instead, I make breakfast and we roll down to the estuary on a perfect day.
Just a fisherman and a clarity recruiting a variety of hues.The lagoon has had a feed, its channel is canal straight and rhymes with the sea.
An Osprey floats from the north wheels around and lands on the tree with the best view.Crested terns are diving in front of us. Their hunting ground glows a beautiful aqua receding to fervid blues, beyond the beach rampart breakers sweep in.
They swoop round with tiny quivering adjustments to wing and tail, then smash into the water detonating explosions.Walking back to the car, someone is waving. It’s Chris and Judy, with Alan bringing up the rear with coffees. We stop for a chat, haven’t seen them for a while now. This is an illegal gathering. To think that as a youth I laid claims to anarchism. 

Locked out

Wyn is having a bath, thought I was inside and locked the door. I retreat to the Asian Garden, do some Tai Chi and a few desultory exercises then sit down, feel my heart beating. I remember my doctor saying the last time, your heart is beating fast. And my retort, Of course it is, I read the news.

I examine our first Japonica flower again, a strange chrysalis fixed the wall and the clumping Black Bamboo slowly spreading into the garden of the Seven Sages, more a passage round the house than garden. Midgen Berry has rolled down the bank and is now growing among the granite stones. I sit back down, no sign of Wyn so I eavesdrop on the forest.
The first White-throated Gerygones of the season are chiming a favourite song of mine. A Sacred Kingfisher rushes its shiny turquoise back back into the forest. Numerous studies have explored the health benefits of shinrin-yoku. It’s been found to lower blood pressure, lower the heart rate and lower cortisol levels. Sharp quacks in a brilliant red and green medieval livery fly by, then stop and transform into the monotonous whistle of a King Parrot.

The sun flares on motes of dust reminding me I am breathing in the breath of Buddha, Jesus, Hitler and Jelly Roll Morton, and the two people who blew themselves up – we once shared this dishevelled world. A Lewin’s Honeyeater flies into a Banksia and lets rip. Its staccato call has been likened to a machine gun, though the terminology has changed. [ii]

I am familiar with words like torture, genocide, famine, all apparently invulnerable. Yet somehow, I still believe in happiness, though I’m getting restless.

Safe inside

I throw a pebble against the bathroom window. Wyn opens a louvre. Oh! I thought you were inside. She lets me in, sorry she laughs. She likes to lock the door from all those decades in inner city Sydney.

I go online and feel ridiculous typing in, best value Afghan charity, but get plenty of hits. I choose one with good reviews and donate-placate. There are so many poems in the world it might be an idea to make poets pay for the privilege of writing another one. The money not to disappear into consolidated revenue, but channelled to good causes, indigenous health and housing, biodiversity initiatives, or . . .

I head upstairs, play Connan Mockasin’s Faking Jazz Together, unearthly beauty magnifying the forest’s qualities, the verticals throwing ever changing light, shadow of leaves sweeping the wooden floor, Wyn sits down next to me, I reach for her hand. We listen together. I can’t resist the picture window, I get my camera and shoot, that’s what I do.

[i] Ajay K. Singh et al., ‘Blast Injuries: From Improvised Explosive Device Blasts to the Boston Marathon Bombing’, Radiographics, Jan 12 2016.

[ii] US Marines are armed with M27 Infantry Automatic Rifles; the Taliban with AK47 assault rifles. According to Michael Hodges, author of AK47: The Story of the People’s Gun, there may be as many as 200 million Kalashnikovs circulating in the world,